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| (Perhaps I should have posted a picture of bunnies instead?) |
Of course, they must be ePheromones. Or would that be the iPheromone? All of this is happening online while I sit in my frumpy pajamas without makeup on, tapping away on my computer.
Two years ago I posted an ad in POF.com looking for an intimate partner. I was lonely and horny and completely ignored by D.
I started off desperate for just a simple human connection, since I was so isolated. One day, I just wanted a hug. D refused, despite my begging. Seriously! What loving husband refuses to hug his wife? Especially when she asks for one? There is something seriously wrong with that man's head.
This turned into craving for skin on skin contact and before I knew it I was so horny I was masturbating 5+ times every day just to take the edge off so I could concentrate on other things.
After a week of being completely distracted by my body's sexual needs and unable to work or take care of common everyday tasks, I posted that ad on POF. (And met wonderful, sweet, sexy B.)
For a while I actually had a great sex life. It was all completely secret, so scheduling was sometimes challenging, but I was finally getting laid at least a few times a month, if not more. (One night there was a parade of 4 different guys, all unaware who I had seen before them or who was coming over next. THAT was an exceptionally excellent night.)
Soon after that, I started my first profile on Fetlife.com.
That's a whole other blog post.
My sex life slowed down considerably, but my libido didn't. By now, D had discovered POF (when he discovered my first affair*) and Fetlife, so posting a new ad on POF (I kept the old one up and if D complains I'd use his favorite excuse: "I forgot.") or seeking a FWB in the Fet forums was not an option. Last August, I posted my first ad on Ashley Madison and met T, another incredibly special friend.
* When he discovered I'd been having an affair, he did NOTHING to try to stop it, find out why I had strayed, try to win me back, nothing. Oh he got upset and questioned where I was going every time I set foot out of the house for a couple months, but didn't take any steps to solve the problem that ended up with me cheating in the first place. And didn't show any interest when I tried to initiate fixing the problem. At this point, two years later, I have decided that I am simply his property in the same way a dusty old withered houseplant sits on a shelf in the corner. Doesn't want to care for me or put me where he can enjoy me, but won't give me up.Then things quieted down and I started thinking about how I could try to revive my sex life a little.
B's birthday rolled around last week and I sent him a card and a gift.
For some reason, that's when all hell broke loose.
I didn't really do anything, it just happened on its own.
In the last week, I have had men crawling out of the woodwork wanting to meet me.
Keep in mind that in all of my posts and profiles, I start off by mentioning that I'm a BBW in an unhappy marriage.
I'm a fat girl under watch by a mean ogre.
Yet they're undeterred by this.
Here's the current tally, and I don't think it's anywhere near stopping:
POF:
Last week - No activity for months and I was considering taking my profile down
Now - 4 men have contacted me, 2 are very interested in meeting me
AM:
Up until last week - So quiet you can hear crickets on my page
Now - 12 winks, 9 messages, 3 favorites (T is one of them, my sweet lover) and 2 or 3 seem promising
Fet:
Oh my goodness. I cannot believe what just happened over the last two days!
I started a new profile that D was not aware of so I could read and learn and post in the forums. I think once the divorce is final, I'll transfer the last of my stuff from the old profile to the new one so he can't stalk me.
Until two days ago - One friend, no activity.
As of tonight - 3 new friends (one is a friend from my old profile) and an invitation from a new friend to explore an activity that has been on my wishlist for quite some time, but challenging to find participants for.
The friend from my old profile is someone I met up with once last fall, but we stopped contacting each other until yesterday. Now we're making plans to meet up again for a second rendezvous. Maybe tomorrow.
Grand total: I went from zero to 6 or 7 possible suitors in less than a week.
Note to self: buy more condoms.
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