I wish I had a girlfriend that I could talk to, especially about this side of me.
I'm excited for tomorrow!
I get a hug tomorrow!
And a kiss! Or two...
Nobody touches me.
I seriously have no physical contact with other humans in my life right now. D ignores me, the kids are in that age where hugging mom is uncool, and at this point with my depression, anxiety, and shutting myself down to cope with the ongoing abuse I simply have no friends.
Now you can see why I'm so flippin' excited about tomorrow.
Not only do I get a hug, but I get other important skin on skin touching from B, and I'm super excited.
He's really good at ...touching..
...among other things... that involve other kinds of touching.
When I was chatting with B about maybe making plans, it got to the point where we had pretty much decided it would be nice to see each other, and we were both available. When I asked if this is a plan or if he still wanted to think about it, he said, "I reserved a room at the such&so motel in that mountain town we go to." Whooee, a motel!
That means we have a real bed instead of having to find a flat spot on the ground where we can spread out a blanket. Uh, that also means I have to shave the winter coat off my legs. It's been a long time since I've had this kind of touching (the last time was several months ago, also with B.)
Anyway, I'm excited. It's been a long time since I've had this kind of skin on skin contact, and B always makes it extra special, so it's going to be a really great day.
Gotta get to bed and get myself all rested up. Tomorrow I've got a long drive up into the mountains, and a physically demanding day/evening ahead of me in that motel room.
Mmmm yay!
